


LOSING THE PLOT

by hgdoghouse



Category: The Professionals
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-20
Updated: 2011-11-20
Packaged: 2017-10-26 07:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hgdoghouse/pseuds/hgdoghouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set post <i>Runner</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	LOSING THE PLOT

Still grinning like an idiot, or a man surprised to find himself alive, Doyle settled back against the wing of the car. Twirling the primer between his fingers, he waited for his racing pulse to slow, feeling sweat trickle down his side despite the chill of the November day.

"Dunno which of us is the stupidest," he said.

Because he had expected to be raining down over Enfield by this time, Bodie was slow to react. "Eh? Oh, you definitely. I am never wrong."

"No? Then how come, having alerted the Bomb Squad, you didn't point out that there was no need for us to move the car or defuse the bloody bomb ourselves?"

Tossing the primer into Bodie's lap, Doyle's expression was gleeful; it wasn't often he caught out Bodie.

While Bodie's eyes widened, he made a typically fast recovery. "I have this abiding sense of responsibility for the safety of the general public," he said virtuously.

Doyle gave a snort of derision. "This is me you're lying through your teeth too, remember? Besides, we radioed ahead. The buildings have all been cleared."

"Ah, but the car-park hadn't," said Bodie with triumph.

"We saw to that. All we had to do was stand back with everyone else," Doyle pointed out cheerfully. This amicable squabble was preferable to dwelling on how close they had come to trying to con their way past St Peter - or was it St Michael?

"Whose idea was it to move the car?" retaliated Bodie, resorting to desperate measures.

"Yours," said Doyle promptly.

Bodie gave him a look of suspicion. "Are you sure?"

"No, but it made you pause. Let's hope both of us do that next time. We could have got ourselves killed."

"If you two have nothing better to do," said a familiar Scots voice.

One hand on his partner's shoulder for leverage, Doyle beat Bodie to the vertical. "Afternoon, sir."

"What was that you were saying just now?" enquired Cowley, his attention on the car-park.

"Only that one of us is stupid."

"He means one of us," explained Bodie with angelic innocence, gesturing between Doyle and himself.

Cowley spared him a sour glance. "The alternative never crossed my mind. I trust the same is true of you."

"Yes, sir," lied Bodie promptly.

Doyle gave a snort of amusement and studiously avoided Cowley's gaze.

"What brought that startling deduction about?" added Cowley. Despite his brusque tone, approval was evident in his manner.

"The fact that having called out the Bomb Squad, we defused the bomb ourselves," said Bodie.

Doyle scrunched his eyes closed, anguished. Trust Bodie to flirt with the truth at the worst possible time.

"Aye, you did well enough," Cowley allowed, before his expression sharpened. "You've called out the Bomb Squad, you say. Damn it, here they are." Turning, he called out to his driver. "Chalmers, send them home. Situation under control.

"I suppose," he continued to Bodie and Doyle, "you realise that CI5 will be called upon to pay for the Bomb Squad's call-out?"

"Better safe than sorry," parroted Doyle glibly.

"You think so?" Cowley's eyes narrowed. "Perhaps you would care to explain - over a scotch or two - why the pair of you went ahead and did the Bomb Squad's job for them. Do you have any idea how much it costs to train a CI5 operative? Bodie, we'll use your car. Chalmers can clear up here." He went across to where his Rover was parked.

"Maybe that explains why the pay's so rotten," muttered Bodie, as they trailed after Cowley. "The canny old bugger deducts some of the cost of training from our salaries every month."

"Don't even suggest it," breathed Doyle. "Wouldn't surprise me if he tried."

"Look on the bright side, we could be lumbered with clearing up here."

"Instead of which we'll be pouring good malt down the undeserving old bugger's throat. So much for our plans for an early evening in," mourned Doyle.

"We'll just have to have a late one instead," said Bodie cheerfully.

Doyle caught hold of his arm. "Hold on a minute. I want to ask you something. Did you understand what the hell's been going on here over the last couple of days we've been chasing around?" He looked faintly anxious.

"Course," said Bodie, giving a sniff of disdain.

A wide, happy grin crossed Doyle's face. "Good. Then you can write the report."

Cowley's call prevented Bodie from exacting his revenge on the spot but he was already making plans as he drove them to the Red Lion.

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Written November 2009


End file.
